When I met you, I had no idea things would ever turn out the way they did. I never thought you would ever put your hands on me and mentally destroy me. Everyday I woke up asking myself how I could possibly be with you for the rest of my life, how I could care about a person that only proved to not care about me. I was so angry but I couldn’t get out. I endured so much crap that now looking back, i kick myself in the ass. Remember the times you called me boring, stupid, annoying, sensitive, etc? How about the times you punched me in the face? The arm? Kicked me? Or every time you cheated on me? Because I do. I remember it like it was yesterday, because the physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional pain you put me through. So think about all that before you decide to blame me for how shitty your life is. I didn’t push you to drugs, I didn’t turn my back on you. Leaving you was simply the best thing I ever did for myself. It isn’t until now that I understand how domestic abuse relationships happen and why I stayed. It has taken a lot of therapy but I’ve gotten through it. Your actions made me feel so unworthy, so scared to be happy, scared to be myself. Everything you ever did to me was your fault, I never deserved it, and you sure as hell don’t deserve my sympathy. I don’t care what your life is now, so please stay out of mine. I was shown real love and there is no way I could ever, even for a second, let someone like you in my life again. I love myself too much to let that happen. So stay talking about me or stalking me, whatever it is, stay away from me. To my friends and family that didn’t understand this.. I tell you this, I met her at a point in my life that anything was better than the other abuse I endured. She knew what to say to make me feel guilty. She made sure I had no self esteem and isolated me from everyone so it’d make it hard for me to leave . Even now, I don’t think anyone really knows everything I experienced. The person I became. So to anyone who can relate to this, I’m with you, my heart is with you. You don’t deserve for someone to mentally and physically abuse you. You deserve all the love the world has to offer, just believe that you do.
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